Coffee and Cookies

 Damn, it's been awhile since I was here. Guess I just haven't been feeling motivated. I've been feeling that way about a lot of things lately - just unmotivated. I think a lot of it has to do with the weather. Winter tends to get me down a bit. But it's getting warmer, it's been sunny most days, and I'm starting to feel a bit better. I've also been using the Finch app as a checklist, and it helps. Always feels good to cross something off a list, and know at the end of the day that I didn't just bedrot and doomscroll. I even got a head start on my garden. I got some leafy greens planted a few days ago, and am hoping for sprouts soon. I also started some tomato and pepper seedlings a couple weeks ago, but I don't plan on transplanting them for about another month. I got a few beds ready for planting, and have been looking at local places to order bulk soil. I'm fortunate to have a good-sized garden space (about 1,650 square feet), and am planning on filling it up this year. A lot of it is because it feels necessary. We've all seen food prices lately. But also, there's just nothing quite like walking into a space full of greenery and food you grew yourself. Kind of a summer sanctuary. I'm looking forward to seeing it (hopefully) thriving in a few months. One of my favorite things is watching my kids wander into the garden and harvest themselves a healthy snack. Canning season is going to be intense, but I'm looking forward to the feeling of fulfillment I'll get out of it.

I've been drifting back into nostalgia lately, and perusing a few friend's old blogs. Most of them haven't been updated in years, but since I'm not on Facebook anymore, and don't have their email addresses...I don't even know what I'm trying to say. Reading their old blogs almost feels like reconnecting with an old friend. I came across the "I am From" poem idea and template on one of them, so what the hell, let's give it a shot. Writing used to be my biggest passion, but I rarely do it anymore. Maybe this will give me a jumpstart back into something that used to bring me so much joy.



I am from books

From Cheerios and Folger's coffee

I am from the yellow-turned-blue house, large, carpeted, tense

I am from roses, pink and yellow and fragrant

I'm from Christmas Eve pajamas and addiction

From my mother and my father

I'm from walking on eggshells and keeping quiet 

From "you can be anything" and "stop your snivelling"

I'm from a church I no longer believe in, of hellfire and brimstone

I'm from Germany and Sweden and the good ol' USA

Steaks on the grill, stew in the crockpot

From the cat following me around the kitchen island as I dragged a string of Mardi Gras beads for him to
chase

The way my mother tried her best to protect us

The box full of photos in the guest room

That remind me I'm no longer the timid little girl who kept her mouth shut, but a woman with resilience and grit.



That got deeper than I expected. Honestly, it feels good.

So a couple days ago, after I picked up my kids from school, we went to the store. We needed milk and cold medicine. That was it. I'll only buy chips if they're on a good sale, so my son asked if we could check if they were that day. Okay, no problem. They were. We picked out a few bags, got the cold medicine, and wandered around the store for a bit. I honestly don't even remember what all we got, but milk somehow didn't make it to the cart. We walked out with four bags of chips and no milk. Yay, Mom.

So yesterday, I went back to the store for the milk, got distracted by the little naan rounds I saw, and decided those would be fun to make mini pizzas with for dinner that night. Wandered around a bit longer to get stuff for that. I did manage to remember the milk this time, so I'm just gonna consider that a win. It turns out ten minutes in a 400 degree oven is a bit too long for mini flatbread pizzas. Pizza shouldn't be crunchy, but ours was. All 12 of them got eaten, though.

In the evening, I rearranged Pongo's tank. Took some old toys out to make room for different ones, and moved his wheel from the end of the tank to the middle. It was fun watching him explore and popcorn. A week or two ago, he got a housing upgrade. He had started chewing the bars on his bin cage, despite it being a pretty decent size full of clutter, and having playtime with me a couple times a day. We dug out my husband's old 55-gallon fish tank, cleaned it up, and made a mesh topper for it. It took him a few days to adjust, but he seems to be enjoying it. I'm able to pack in a lot more bedding for him to burrow in, and it's easier to add lots of activities and clutter. I made him a swing using a small wooden tray hung by jute from a small wired shelf, all from the dollar store. He spent a good bit of time climbing in and out of it, so I think it's safe to say he likes it. Right now, he's out for playtime with me on the couch, checking out his toys and coming over the check in with me periodically. I cover the couch in blankets for poop control while he's out. I'm going to get those washed today.

I'll probably get my bubble wrap put up on my windows today, too. The weather has been unseasonably warm, but I expect it won't be too long before it really begins to feel like winter. As far as I know, the windows on our house are originals from when it was built in the mid-50's. They may not be, but they do let in a good draft at times. I've been putting bubble wrap on them the last few years, and it makes a difference. Spritz some water on the windows, and smooth it on with the bubbles against the window. Between that, closing the curtains, and hanging blankets over the entire thing if necessary, it keeps us pretty cozy.

I'm going to try to make today a good day. I've been tired a lot, but usually feel better after I get something accomplished. Dishes, laundry, all that good stuff. I've discovered that folding laundry isn't so bad if I have a video going to focus on, and a hot drink on the table beside me. Just because I have to do it doesn't mean I can't pamper myself a bit at the same time, right? I should probably get a start on wrapping Christmas gifts, too.

I'm planning on doing a declutter challenge in January. I did the mins game this summer and ended up getting rid of nearly 500 items. I'm not sure if I'll do that again or the "one a day" technique - declutter one drawer, get one bag ready for donation, etc. I've never been one to enjoy cleaning, but it felt good to get all of that out of my house, and it wasn't too difficult to keep up on. At the risk of sounding morbid, eventually I won't be here, and I don't want my kids having to deal with my crap after I'm gone. Plus it's nice to have the extra space.

Right now my pet mouse Pongo is hanging out on the couch with me having some playtime. Love that little guy, even if he can be a bit of a stinker when he wants to be. I need to take my dog for a walk in a bit, too. Poor girl is getting older (she's 14), and she doesn't have a lot of energy to play anymore. She still loves her walks, though.

Like I said in my last post, it's been a long time since I blogged. Back in the 2000's, I was on Blogger and BraveJournal for awhile, but haven't looked at my Blogger account in years. I'm not sure if BraveJournal is even still around. I guess I'm just missing that era. When the internet was about fun and connection, not somebody trying to sell me something all the time. I miss Yahoo Answers, talking with family on MSN Messenger, being able to search for a recipe and not having to scroll past link after link with "15 ways to make this" or "22 ways to make that." I miss actual human connection. I suppose change is a necessary exchange for having made it this far in life.

I need to get back to doing things just because I enjoy them. I'm working on an afghan for my son for Christmas, and that's been enjoyable. When I'm done with that, maybe I'll pull my coloring books out again.